how to own your labor in two easy steps

Ladies, now that it is 2016 we no longer have the luxury of remaining ignorant about our bodies and the birth of our babies. Burying our heads in the sand and hoping for the best is not an option. We are too smart, and beautiful, and important to put our health care decisions into someone else's hands. Labor has a way of taking us down roads we never expected, so it's important to have our proverbial ducks in a row ahead of time. My hope is for us to feel proud of our births and know that our voices and wishes are heard and honored.

When it comes to labor, if we don't know what our options are, we simply don't have any. Let that sink in a minute. How scary is it to think that during the craziest, most primal adventure of our lives, we don't have a say in what's happening to our bodies? Terrifying! That's why I'm here to share two easy steps that will leave you feeling informed, prepared, and ready to face your labor.

Educate Yourself
Hire a Doula

Is that it? Yep. Super simple, right? And yet, many of you will skip both of these steps. Ladies, what you don't know can hurt you. You owe it to yourselves and your beautiful babes to be informed and armed with the best support team possible. It is your first real test as a mother. Here are some resources to get you started, but it is up to you to go the distance. Remember, Hell hath no fury like an educated laboring mother.

Here's a wonderful, comprehensive list to help you with your birth preferences. I love this, because it is eye-opening to see the plethora of options that are available during the different stages of labor, delivery, and the time right after.
Watch The Business of Being Born. Unless you regularly work on the labor and delivery floor, it's important to know what you will be walking into. Also, it's a fantastic documentary!
Take a childbirth education class. If you can't find one in your area, or you are strapped for time and cash, the Laugh and Learn series is a great alternative.
Read anything by Ina May Gaskin. She has spent her life gently welcoming babies into the world, and has seen it all.
Watch Orgasmic Birth. Yes, it is possible to orgasim during your labor. Who knew? It's important to naturalize birth and see something other than the terrifying screams of television labors. Also, it gets your partners interested. You have to admit you're curious.

Onto step 2. Hire a doula.

Hire a what? A doula. She provides physical, emotional, and informational support during your labor. She differs from a midwife because she does not provide medical support. You have no idea how important this woman will be to your labor. I know you're thinking, "I'll have my partner why do I need a doula?" Because chances are your partner has no idea what labor looks like and will freak out when you are experiencing all that labor has to offer. Also, your partner will have to pee and eat at some point, and you will not be willing to let him or her go. A doula has seen labor. She knows to expect the unexpected. She focuses your partner so he or she feels helpful and supportive. She guides you through all the tricks and positions to help you manage your labor. She will rub your back, hold ice or heat packs in place, squeeze your hips for hours on end, help you stay informed, tell you that you're brave, and strong, and capable, and she will be with you from start to finish.

My doula was my saving grace. She believed in me when everyone, including myself, gave up on my birth. She guided my breathing, held me, helped me through many positions, took over while my husband had a psychological breakdown, knew my wishes and fought for them. I still look at her as a sweet sweet angel who I probably owe my first born to. She stayed with me for hours after the birth and made sure that I was feeling confident before she left my side.

Now many of you might be thinking, "I'm getting an epidural so I don't need a doula". Ladies, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you have to labor before getting an epidural. The hospital wants you in active labor before it's going to admit you, and sometimes there isn't a room available yet. So arm yourself with a support person who will get you to where you wish to be. The same can be said about a scheduled cesarian. I have yet to meet a mother who feels awesome right after major abdominal surgery. Have someone there who can help you care for your baby and who can also look after you and your needs. The focus tends to shift to the baby once he or she is born, and sometimes the mother is overlooked.

"But I can't afford one." Yes you can. Doula's work on a variety of pay scales and most are willing to help out or to find someone who can. If you find a doula who is working on her certification, often times she will work for free. Another idea is to add your doula's fee to your gift registry. If you find yourself coming up with other excuses not to hire a doula, please feel free to email me at momfirsthumansecond@gmail.com and I will help you realize why your excuse is totally bogus. I'm serious. You matter. Your baby matters. Your labor and birth experience matters.

For more information on doulas and what they offer please click here.

How about you? Did you have a doula? Are you thinking of hiring one? Did you feel well informed before your labor?