get off my uterus

"So when is number two coming?" -everyone in the entire world.

When I hear this question my first reaction is to vomit. I don't of course, but that is how strongly I feel about not having another child at this point (or maybe ever). My mother likes to remind me that I'm only getting older. Really? I had no idea, because having a toddler that I chase after every moment of the day makes me feel so young and rejuvenated.

The truth is, I have not slept in almost two years. My daughter is what the books call a "high needs" sleeper. Translated into English, this means that my daughter still wakes up every one to two hours, and when she's sick she really loves the every 20-30 minutes schedule. May I please note that I'm not asking for sleep advice. I'm only offering some insight into why I can't handle the idea of procreating again.

My brother-in-law keeps joking about the twin boys that are coming my way once my daughter is in school full-time. Which is fine, but he has a reputation for predicting the future, so I would like him to take his fortunetelling elsewhere. To add to his claims, my brother, Kevin, had a dream that I gave birth to twin boys at home and it was "terrifying." Thanks guys. I'm good. Have children of your own now.

I have a million other reasons for not wanting to add to my family, and they run the gamut from: I'm still breastfeeding to I want to reconnect with my husband. The bottom line, though, is that I feel complete. My daughter is everything I could have dreamed of and more. She's full of life, curious and funny as hell. She loves fiercely, and snuggles with every fiber of her being. She's healthy and really happy. Why mess with a good thing, right?

Now maybe it's a little selfish, but I like to think of all the perks that come with having an only child. 

• She can have my undivided attention when she needs it.
• We can travel more and with greater ease.
• I will not be playing referee.
• We can afford the education we wish to give her, and so on...

I have two half brothers that I grew up with, but I am my dad's only child. I kind of feel like I had the best of both worlds. I have siblings, but I also have a parent who is solely mine. The relationship I have with my dad is one that I hope to have with my daughter. He has always been there and will support and love me always. What's wrong with wanting to recreate that?

Now I may change my mind in the next ten minutes, but as of right now, what I do with my uterus is no one's business. The decision to add to my family is not one that I take lightly. After all, the stranger who is concerned about my daughter being deprived of a playmate will not be there to help me through the sleepless nights, or to kiss the boo boos, or to wipe the tears. It will be me.

How about you? Do you feel pressure from others to grow your family? How do you deal with it?

*Please know that I will probably be the first person to ask if you want more children. I know. I know.